You know you are a new mom when you :
- Check the breathing of a sleeping baby every 10 minutes .
- Stock up on teethers way before teething time like a warrior prepares ammunition for battlefield.
- Have hand sanitizer and wet wipes on every nook and corner of the house , just in case.
- Carefully auscultate the baby to hear the soul satisfying ‘burp’ sound.
- Diligently fill the baby book.
- Stay camera ready with milestone stickers for monthly birthdays .
- Buy a Baby Food Maker (Which she will dump in a few days and start using the blender like a pro.)
- Join all the feeding support groups on Facebook in your mission to be the perfect mom (and get bullied. We all have been victims of the Sanctimommy , haven’t we ? )
- Over shop for the newborn phase and pile up those cute teeny booties which you will hardly ever use.
- Get upset seeing yourself looking vaguely pregnant even months after delivery 😦 . (No one told you about that , did they ?)
- Meticulously record the pee and poo count of the baby .
- Get ambitious about potty training . (Dearie , it’s a long way off .. don’t prolong your struggle)
- Suffer from an anxiety attack before pediatrician’s appointment as if he is about to disclose your exam results .
- Panic about baby’s weight ,height and growth percentiles.
- Discover the new meaning of crazy exhaustion .
- Get anxious while cutting those tiny nails almost weekly .
- Confused about new baby vocabulary like swaddle , mittens , nipple shield, latching , let down and so on .
- Realise that choosing between a high chair vs a booster is more difficult than choosing a spouse .
- Sneakily smell your baby’s diaper before handing him over to someone.
- Exhaust your phone’s memory card in a matter of few days , thanks to the infinite number of cute poses your baby manages to make.
- Crave for alone time and when you get to be on a date-night with the husband , you end up talking about and missing the baby.
- Realise that breasts were actually meant for a purpose :p
- Hope for atleast someone to remark that your baby looks like you (and is not just his father’s copy)
- Wonder how giant your neighbour’s toddler looks.
- Pack the whole nursery in the diaper bag for even a minor excursion.
- Miss spooning with your husband.
But before you realise it that you are a new mom , your infant has grown into a toddler and you are now the agony-aunt for the next series of brand- new moms!
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