Does a father know when and how to shift the child from purées to solids? Unless he is a pediatrician himself.
Do Men’s washrooms in public places have diaper changing tables ?
Do fathers make a whatsapp group with fellow school dads to keep themselves updated about the homework?
How many times does your husband take the effort to read to the child so that he develops language skills?
How many fathers support group is he a part of on social media ?
How many times has he considered a child care leave from work?
Who is the first one usually to get up from the bed late night to check on the crying infant next door?
Does he know what all goes in the diaper bag when you plan an outing?
How many times has he single handedly managed the child without giving you a call to ask for particulars ?
I am sure the number of such fathers can be counted on your fingers.
Stop defending your husband by telling yourself that he woke up last night and soothed the child. What is that one night in comparison to the endless sleeplessness you have been experiencing?
Stop patting his back for loving your kids immensely, that does not make him a parent.
Stop consoling yourself that he is the breadwinner and this is not his job.
Stop equating fatherhood to babysitting .
It takes two to make a child and two to bring them up.
Alas, years of fighting patriarchy become futile once you enter motherhood . Be it a working mother or a stay at home mom or a work from home mum , the onus of responsibility lies on you . Deny it if you want , but you end up being the primary parent .
This is one job where it becomes almost impossible to ignore and give up your responsibility even for a few minutes so that the father steps up his game.
You could fight about this skewed distribution of parenting workload, call it quits but then you see your kids and the crucial stage of development they are in and you get up and do your part , beaten up again by the misogyny.
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